When I got home I noticed that the concert I went to in England will be coming here and tickets aren't too expensive so I hinted at seeing it again. I even offered to buy tickets for the both of us. It's not close to home, but I think it'd be worth it, and the tickets aren't half as expensive as they were in London.
Bf joked about me going with someone else at first, but when I probed further to see if he'd be willing to come he flipped out. He went on a stupid rant about me just getting back, to lay off the concert hype and to take a week to appreciate being back, to quit talking about going away.
When I was left with my mouth hanging open in surprise at his reaction, he angrily asked if I thought he was wrong. When I said that he wasn't necessarily wrong but that his reaction was exaggerated, he didn't say anything.
Which is why I sat in the guest room catching up on my blog posting last night.
Since then he has given me hugs and has been trying to be forgiven. But I am having a hard time.
I feel like telling him that he's losing me. I want to try to explain to him what it feels like to really feel enthusiastic about something, because I don't think that he has ever really felt a strong emotion towards an event like a concert or even a sports event.
by Roger Waters
If you should go skating
On the thin ice of modern life
Dragging behind you the silent reproach
Of a million tear-stained eyes
Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice
Appears under your feet
You slip out of your depth and out of your mind
With your fear flowing out behind you
As you claw thin ice.
The Wall is the concert that I went to see, I'm not sure I mentioned it, but I have recently realized that it has been a fall back album since I was a kid for when I've been going through times of crisis. It was the album I played when I was 6, when I heard my parents arguing to drown out their voices I would blare the trial in my room. At the time I was obviously not aware of the significance of the album. But today as I was writing this post and listening to Thin Ice, it dawned on me how relevant it is during this time of my life.