Sunday, May 29, 2011

Weird, Weirder, Weirdest

Wow, when things get weird they really get weird.
I got an email today from an ex-boyfriend.
I'm not sure I've ever mentioned him. If I have, it was ages ago and no-one here will remember. 

I have this best friend back home, when we were growing up she had this boyfriend who lived in another city about 4 hours from where we lived. I was dating a guy at the time who wasn't quite right in the head and to make a long story short, I broke up with him, my best friend broke up with her boyfriend and we swapped. I started dating the guy from out of town and she started dating the guy who wasn't quite right in the head. She ended up marrying the guy. And I stayed with this outatowner for about a year and then I called it quits.
Let's call him Floyd. While Floyd was dating my best friend he and I were actually corresponding hand written letters at the time, we had a lot in common. We would write these 10 page letters back and forth. They were strictly friendship based though. Then when we started dating the letters became love letters. But our relationship slowly degraded and I couldn't see our friendship anymore. That's when I realized that I thought it was more important to save our friendship than to continue a relationship so I broke it off with him.

He later married a woman and had two girls. The woman he married ended up going off the deep end and almost tried to kill herself. Floyd has been in touch over the years off and on, especially when things aren't well with the wife.

Today he said that he missed me, that he was tired of pushing people away because of his wife, especially people he cared about like me. He basically said that he regretted that things hadn't gone differently between us. I emailed him back and said all sorts of things, mostly telling him why I had broken things off, but also saying that his email had reached me in a period of my life that was somewhat on the rocks.
He emailed me back saying that he wanted to know what was going on.

Floyd is a person that I've always been very close to. We've told each other everything, but when he got married our friendship was cut off. My email back to him was a total and complete spew of things that have been going on including Rob and bf. By the end of this correspondence he will probably know more than my best friend does. She just knows about Rob, she doesn't know about the blog or about my "past" online. I don't know that I'll tell Floyd about the blog... but I've already hinted at my past online.


John said...

Sometimes it helps to get it out to someone neutral, who isn't aware of everything before hand, they are often because of that the ones who can see clarity and be constructive.

Am a firm believer in the everything happens for a reason belief, this just proves it to be right.

Johanna said...

I can relate to this... I bumped into someone today, an old friend, that I haven't seen in years but whom I still feel very close to. I asked him to come over some day, and afterwards I thought that I may actually tell him about S and about the fact that I'm flirting with a woman. (I haven't told anyone from "real life".) I think one important factor is that while he has met my husband, he doesn't really know him, and he's definitely MY friend, not my husband's. Not only to avoid the obvious risk of my confidante telling my husband out of loyalty, but also because I want to tell someone who doesn't already have an fixed image of my marriage. Maybe I also want to tell someone whom I haven't talked with in a long while... he won't assume he already knows most things that are going on, so he's less likely to be shocked, which leaves more space for my own confusion...