About tomorrow's post:

I fucked myself silly today.

I've scheduled a post tomorrow about how I am feeling today, I know, sorry, it's a bit backwards. I couldn't modify what I'd written on that post to say what I need to say, so I'm writing this.

I came hard the second time round. I was on my back on the bed and it was so strong that I was overwhelmed. My head turned to the side and I saw him staring at me, his unforgettable eyes set on mine. He was there, unmistakably there, with one hand propping up his head watching me. A ghost of my longing of course. I was back in Birmingham, back in that moment when the tears almost came but I didn't let them. This time I let them.

And I cried, I burst into sad solitary tears. What a freak I am.

It's been a shitty day, with a masquerade and two orgasms to fill in the emptiness.

You'll all enjoy the post tomorrow. I am warning you though, it's a little harsh.