The anxiety is wearing off. Whether that's because I got a much needed cyber smack in the back of the head from Rob telling me to pull myself together, or whether it's because I went out with friends for dinner (although I doubt it since they had me talking about london non stop). Or because I vented on here and got input or because the weekend is ending and work will take over my time again tomorrow. I'm also exhausted, anxiety and panic wears a person out. It's probably a combination of everything. Luckily, though, this type of crisis doesn't happen too often.
When they do take over, I feel like I'm going crazy, my mind starts working at an unstoppable rate. It's a horrible feeling. I just have to learn to ride it, figure out what I need to do in these situations. I painted today to see if it would pass, I finished the painting, but the feeling didn't pass. Probably getting out with friends would help more, but I don't have much of a selection that I can just call up at will. Today I was lucky.
I feel like I should apologize. I feel like a bit of a freak when I get overwhelmed like this. My reactions are all off, I can't think straight, I end up writing stupid things and risk doing stupid things. I really do need someone to give me a nice smack. I wish my best friend back home could have helped me today. She'd have been good at that but she had to work.
Anyhow, sorry for the freak show, and thanks for listening and helping.