So I went in to work yesterday. My boss was around but not really working as she is still very very weak and can't breath deeply without being in pain. She asked me officially if I would take her place in Greece and I accepted although slightly reluctantly as I have a wedding I'd like to be at and the fact that I'd be going with co-worker alone. I at least wanted to show my difficulties so that she would understand the situation.
I really do have mixed feelings (I may just be trying to convince myself of that) but I think I do. I had an argument, although a very tame one, with bf last night about it. I do not blame him in the least. I understand his jealousy and I understand his uneasiness. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes.
I did however ask him if he wanted to come with us more than once and he refused. Last night he "joked" (as he called it) about coming but me paying for it. And the problem was that if he had told me right away that he wanted to come but couldn't afford it then I probably would have offered. But since he refused right off the bat and then comes back "joking" about me paying for it saying things like "if you really wanted me to come you'd pay for my trip" I just got angry and annoyed instead.
The fact that he expects me to pay for it rather than telling me the truth about not being able to afford it and suggesting we split it or something is really frustrating.
Apart from all that he understands that it's for work, he just thinks that I REALLY REALLY want to go and that I'm jumping for joy when I'm not. He says that I didn't even try not going, telling my boss that I wouldn't go. That is true but I know that my boss doesn't really have any alternatives. I really am not that at ease with the situation. But as is expected my feelings are mixed. I get to go to a greek island for a week to work half days and go to the beach and get paid for it all....
Co-worker's gf is also in a bunch about this, I don't blame her either. I wonder if anyone is going to believe us that nothing happened when we're both good and keep our distances.
I am not only anxious about having to go with Co-worker, but I'm also anxious about everything else the whole trip entails. It's going to be a stressful trip, with a lot of responsibilities. Luckily co-worker and I work very well together and listen to each other, we communicate well for work and are respectful of the other's ideas. So I'm sure it will be fine.
On a completely different note I had the weirdest dream last night... possibly nightmare. First of all I have been having dreams about Rob relatively regularly these days they're good dreams, very good dreams. But last night was a strange exception.
It was about meeting up online. We had organized to meet on Skype and we were cybering, when he knocks some fruit from a bowl onto the floor and it rolls away from the couch where he's sitting. The camera pans over to follow the fruit and I can see the camera crane in the shadows, the video gets shaky and then suddenly I can see the cameraman and audio boom. That's when I freak and close the laptop. My mind goes into a flurry not understanding fully but understanding something, and I have a new cell phone that for some reason is tracking his car or what the phone thinks is his car, and I'm trying to run away from the situation, running through a big city and running trying to catch him at the same time. I am expecting him to text me to explain but my cellphone is constantly trying to give me information on where he might be and I can't see my texts. And I'm desperate to hear from him hoping that he has some explanation, but deep down I know that he won't text or call.
That was at 5:30 this morning. I kept waking up and finally got out of bed at 7:30 after bf had left.