Friday, June 3, 2011


I'm not having a good day. I'm probably in Rob withdrawal.....definitely in Rob withdrawal. But apart from that as much as bf thinks he's helping, he's not.

This morning we went out to try to look into a studio space for me. I wanted to go to one agency that I'd been to before about a place, but never got back to them. But bf convinced me to go to another one first. In this place the woman had a space that she wanted to show us, but halfway through talking, while she was distracted on a call, he told me that he didn't think it was the right place. She hadn't even told us what the place was like yet. I had to "politely" tell him that I wanted to finish the conversation before deciding and perhaps even see the place before making a decision.

He kept interrupting what I was saying to add his own comments about needing an extra room, about not having space at home and not wanting to spend a lot... It bugs me. Then he goes looking at empty shops on streets close to home that are HUGE and he says, let's call about this place. And I know it's going to cost an arm and a leg because big shops with windows on high traffic streets cost tons. And when I call about them because he insists, I'm always right and when the agency asks me how much I'm willing to spend they basically laugh in my face. ARRRGGGGG

He lectured me on how much money I could invest in this, on when I'd have to start rent from, on how much I could afford to spend per month, how I'd have to worry about parking, how I'd have to worry about neighbours and making noise if I'm doing noisy artsy things..... WTF?!? It's annoying.

I did see a small shop that might be within my range today. but I keep thinking how stupid I am to go spend 350 Euros per month on a studio plus my monthly rent to live which I'm paying 400 Euros per month into (that includes bills and stuff though). that 750 euros for everything. The place I was thinking of moving into if I left bf is 550 and I'd have room for everything............
This is why my dad told me that he thought my mind was made up.


Ashly Star said...

I don't know how you manage that. I'd snap and go off on him for sure, lol. I hate being interrupted and hate when someone tries to get me to do something I want to do the way they think it should be done. Annoying.

Advizor54 said...

I suspect he going to try and assert himself through various means over the next few weeks. Faced with the fear of losing you, he will swing between control as in this case, dominance, which is different, and appeasement (let me make you dinner dear). He's going to try all of the techniques we use to keep something we want.

As you resist each method and insist on making your own choices, your dad's prediction will become more obvious. You are coming to a point where you need to make your own choices and direct your life towards your needs. He's seeing that and is worried. You just need to be aware of how he is going to react.

And, since I've gotten a glimpse of your talent, would you consider a Patron, an investor to help you make it along? I've got a very big office at work and I'll make room for your easels. Just give me the word. :-)

Ethan Lambert said...

Come what may, no one will be able to say you made an impulse decision. It sounds like you're weighing all your options and waiting to make the right choice. I hope, whatever you decide, it leads to your happily ever after :-)

Cande said...

Ashley: Hey nice to see you here! Yeah that's exactly what got to me... I was just trying to play nice since he's been playing nice recently.

Advizor: yeah you're probably right, I can see it. I just can't see it all the time. I just have to keep reminding myself what's going on.

Ethan: Thanks, I have been weighing things out for years. But things seem to be coming to a conclusion in my mind at least.