I have been actively looking for apartments in the past week. I've been to see a total of three. Two were really nice, but for different reasons neither would work. Also I think I have to reduce my original budget from 600 a month to 550 or 500.
Other than that there hasn't been much progress. I told two sets of friends of ours what was going on. I think that it helps a bit. When I told bf that I had told them, he wasn't terribly enthusiastic. But I think it's just a matter of him getting used to things.
At this point bf has been leechy caressing me and my face constantly whenever he's close to me. He's gotten a bit sappy, but I know that he's a bit too sweet at times.... I should appreciate it, but it's just not my style.
I heard from Rob a little: a brief meeting on line last week, where we talked about the "break up". Today he texted me asking me how I was and I told him that the break-up didn't go through completely but that I was moving out. He was obviously confused and it was difficult to explain through text messages. He told me to let him know when I wanted to talk about it and this afternoon we both managed to get on line.
It was a nice chat, he was in a really good mood, and he poked a little fun at me for not pulling the break-up off. But in the end he was sympathetic and understanding. It was really nice to talk and see him as usual. He texted me after saying that he wants to fuck me. I joked around saying it was because I'm not single, and he said it was because "you're you".
I had in the past week been backing off both him and Co-worker. Just to see their reactions. I have also been self absorbed recently and haven't had time really for either of them.
Co-worker today was looking for attention. At one point he surprised me by saying the name of a greek beach that we visited together. One of the most beautiful places I've seen. And all these images and feelings came flowing back for a brief moment.
How am I feeling?
I'm still confused. I need to get out to get perspective.