Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Things are just so weird. I don't know what to think. Bf has been really nice and considerate, he's even suggested various things for my future, and every time he does I just want to cry.

The one thing that really surprised me today was that he took the first step in telling a friend of ours.

This, to me, means that he's accepting the situation to an extent. I know, because he told me today, that he still hopes things will work out between us in the future but at least he's not fighting it.

I'm scared, really scared, and I burst into tears at the thought of being alone. I am afraid of the void, I'm afraid of my future.
Everyone I've talked to about this has asked me what my plans are... I have no idea, I can't answer that now. I honestly don't want to hear the question again, but I know people will keep asking me.

I'm sad. It hurts like hell even if it's what I want.

4 comments:

John said...

The question is and I am playing a bit of Devil's Advocate here, is "is it better to be unhappy in a relationship or unhappy out of one" My personal view is whilst indeed things may work out between you in the future, you need time out to assess what future you want. You may be going into the unknown of alone as far as relationships go, but you have good friends from what I see and they will support you and be there, then of course there is always here to let it out, hugs girl you will be fine it's just a big adjustment now.

Advizor54 said...

When they ask you what your plans are, just say, "I plan to be happy." and leave it at that. Your plans will change a dozen times before you move out and a dozen more after you do. As you leave one comfort zone behind, you will find another one, redefined, and more interesting than ever before. A woman as talented, dynamic, interesting, and pretty as you won't be "alone" for long, and I'm not talking about in bed. You will continue to attract people to your circle because you are open and welcoming and concerned about others, these qualities bring readers to your blog and friends to your doorstep. In fact, in 3 months, you will blog about being too busy with gallary openings and dinners with friends, and we will all smile for you.

DOG3OY said...

small steps, one at a time, breath in breath out, get up in the morning and got to bed in the evening.

one day at a time will become one month at a time and you'll be back to the big picture one day

but not today

Carolina said...

Cande,

I know first hand what you are going through. I just ended a 10 year marriage. Stay Strong. I am still confused, scared, terrified but I don't know-I have a feeling life will get better even though I still tear up and cry! Ughhh! Sucks but I am happier to tell u the truth! E-mail if you want to talk!
Loudmeow69@gmail.com