Cyber girl

So This weekend was interesting in more ways than one. Apart from the good sex I had on Saturday, I also talked to Chicken on Saturday, one of my longest running cyber friends. I think I've known him as long as Rob, or just less. He's also British, and he is fun. I don't catch him too often, he lost his webcam for a while and he now has it back. He was on Skype the other day and I had the opportunity to strip a little... he actually asked me to stop, he said he'd faint if I continued. But then we turned the sound on. It was the first time ever, again a person I've known for 7 or 8 years and I'd never heard his voice. It was cool. I really enjoyed our chat. It was very nonchalant and easy going. We even spoke about Mussolini. Heh.

During the conversation he mentioned a new website that he had come accross. It's called Chatroulette.com. It's a cool idea, a bit like the other one I've tried a few times (camfrog.com). Except this is a kind of game. You allow the site to access your webcam, and you hit "play game" and you have a random person on cam with audio show up. You can click next and get a new person. Now I went through a bunch, some are kids like 15 yr olds. Some are old buggers with their wieners out, and others are cute guys, there are a few women too.

I had good fun with two french guys, although they were pretty young, in their 20s. I stripped a little for them. I had fun with a group of Finnish marines... they were joking around, dancing and having fun in general too bad I didn't have more time with them, it would have been fun to strip a little with them.  Mostly I smiled and joked around with them.

Then there was a girl. She was actually quite pretty, a little heavy set, but quite pretty. She asked me if I was bi, and I said not really that I only got caming with guys mostly. She asked me my msn address, except my cam doesn't work on msn because I'm on a Mac. So we started fooling around a little. It's the first time I've ever done ANYTHING mildly sexual with a woman since I was 11. I was enjoying it quite a bit until the her cam froze and started back up again. At which point I got paranoid that she wasn't actually a recorded image.

Fuuuuck, I was freaking out. I had seen a program on tv that mentioned an msn trick that pedophiles can use by recording an image and using it to lure kids into stripping. I was convinced she was recorded. I couldn't even remember he hands moving over the keyboard at times. But when I thought about it better, I'm still not sure, but I don't think she was a recording. She started stripping when I did, so it would have been damn good timing for a recorded video. Who knows.

Anyhow it was interesting. My pseudo first meeting with a woman on line. I'd like to try it again. And fun with groups of guys begging me to strip. Hah... I'll probably go back. but I doubt I'll use it for very long.

Saturday Night Sex

I had super hot sex with BF Saturday night. We had had friends for dinner, I had a few glasses of wine, although I wasn't feeling the least bit tipsy. BF had smoked a little Maria, which we don't do very often but our next-door neighbour had thrown some out his back window (and then told us) after getting paranoid which left us with a little stash for rainy days.

It started innocently enough, on the couch a little snuggling and kissing. Then he took my jeans off. I had hoped sex would be an event that evening so I had prepared a little surprise under my clothes. As I knelt over him crosswise, he got busy fingering me. He moved my black lace panties to one side and I just enjoyed the attention for a while. When I was ready I started to strip the rest of my clothes off. I took off my shirt to reveal my black corset. He didn't blink. I'm not even sure he noticed. Oh well. I was enjoying myself so it was all good. After he fingered me until I was slippery and wet. I finally pulled him out of his jeans and plunged him in. It didn't take me long to cum. It was pretty much immediate. I've been pretty aroused for weeks. I hadn't had sex in a long while. The orgasm was good. I think I made quite a lot of noise.

At this point BF hadn't cum yet and I figured I'd give him a little treat. I slipped him out and back... yes, back. I haven't done that in a while. But I was feeling generous. Truth be told, I was doing it as a request from an online friend, who told me to ask BF to "fuck me in the ass". But since he was high, I didn't feel the right mood to say something like that. Anyhow It was slow going. As is usual in these cases, it takes some time and practice, I have neither of those. With a lot of saliva and some cautious, slow pumping, it finally slid in and... oh it was good. I should have done it right from the beginning. I would have had a more interesting orgasm. I didn't come again. I did however, enjoy it thoroughly. I think BF enjoyed it. He kept stopping and telling me that he didn't want to cum.

He eventually pulled out. I'm not sure why. But he decided he wanted to cum on my tits I think. So I got down close to him and gave him a nice hand job until he started to cum, at which point, as per usual, he finished himself off.

It was a good weekend.

Freakbook

So You may remember Raul from this post of mine. Well, he has me baffled.

He's a singer/songwriter and artist and in a pre-Christmas Facebook chat he told me that he was going to be recording some of his stuff. I said that I would be interested in hearing it, and he promised to send me a copy. It was a very friendly and even a bit flirty.
Then a couple days ago he posts a status saying that things were coming along with the album and they were almost done. At which point I sent him a private email on Facbook (because I don't have any other contact for him) to congratulate and remind him that I was still interested in hearing it. He sent me a nice email back saying "and so you will, when it's done I'll send you a copy" with an enigmatic .tw at the end of his email. Those are not his initials.

Right, well, a day later I go to answer him, to thank him, and I cant. His message is there but I couldn't answer. I tried clicking his name, and I kept getting sent back to my own feed. I tried doing a search for him but he wasn't ANYWHERE to be found on facebook, not even among the friends list of those we have in common.

I could do a search on Google and come up with his private page, but nothing more. I couldn't contact him in any way. He didn't exist for me.

I figured at that point that he must have blocked me, and after doing a test block from another account. I realized that this is exactly what had happened. He blocked me.

I was angry, it didn't make any sense. Why would he send me a message and then block me? I'm also pretty sure he had done it before.

Three days go by of me worrying that he was angry at me, or that I had violated some strange code of ethics. I started wondering if he was on drugs. I couldn't explain it. Then out of the blue, he's back. I could answer his message if I wanted to. Not only that but last night he wrote "everything ok, kiddo?" (he calls everyone kiddo)on my wall. The wall conversation was as follows:
Me: "all's good in my end of the world"
Him: "that's good just curious"
Me: "hmmm, any reason"
Him: "No"

At this point I started a chat with him,
First asking how he was (since I hadn't done on the wall post). We got into a conversation about how he goes about getting very little sleep so he can be creative more, and how he coasts (dematerialized in his words) through life, trying not to get sucked in by bullshit all the time.

It was a strange conversation. the strangest part was the beginning:

Me: "you good?"

Him: "as good as can be expected."
"i gots a pulse. somewhat..."

Me: "hah that's important"

Him: "sure is. just tired... that's all. but... i'm always tired."

Me: "yeah... need more sleep."

Him: "no."

Me "no?"

Him: "sleep is a waste of my time. i've got too much to do and not enuff time to pull it all off."

Me: "goodness"

Him: "i get around 3 to 4 hours nightly"

Me: "can you function on that?"

Him: "i have been for the last decade and a half or so."

Me: "hmm well I guess so then"


Him: "heh. i like you. besides... that's when i'm most creative. a the cusp of fatigue and dropping dead."

Me: "I'd be exhausted"


And the conversation continued... but wait... did he say "i like you?" what?? why? I just don't get it. He blocks me for a few days then he says he likes me? First of all it's out of context. I didn't say anything to elicit that response. I thought maybe he meant to say "I'm like you". But that doesn't fit either. Not only, but it seems he knows something is up because he asked me if everything was ok...publicly on my wall! He's got me thinking, whirling around trying to figure out why he's blocked me and now he says he likes me, out of the blue, for no reason? Arg, men.

The only plausible reason I can think of is that he blocked me to hide something from me. Or maybe he does it to others as well.
Today I may just email him and tell him that I couldn't answer his email for a few days because he had disappeared, just to see what he says.

HNT, on time!!

I've edited out some background stuff in case you're wondering why the area above my arm is all funky.

Trouble breathing

There are times when I miss him so much it almost hurts, I have a hard time breathing, my heart rate rises, and I have to hold my breath to get control of it.

I went reading through emails today. It's something  I should probably avoid doing. I read back to an email thread that was sent when I started the blog. Rob had come on to my blog to read the post about the meeting (II and III) and about the belt for the first time. He read about other "players" and mentioned how jealous he was while reading certain things, how the parts about him made him smile. How the blog put things into perspective and how important it was for him to understand how much our meetings meant to me.

It was an important thread, because it's the most he's ever written to me in an email. It was full of emotions and thoughts.

He hasn't been on the blog recently. I'm not sure why... not sure if I should worry about that. I tend to think too much. I'll try to ignore those thoughts.

Hands

Rough on smooth, heightening the sensation as if reminding me where they are. They're small, dexterous, and demanding. You run them from my face, soft and gentle, to my neck, firmer. Placing the slightest pressure with your thumb on the muscle under my ear. Your fingers slide into my hair under the base of my skull and my head is at your mercy.
You bring it up to meet your face. Bringing it close enough so that I can feel your breath. So close that your lips graze mine. Then down, you guide my head forcefully down, and with it, me to my knees. Down your chest, down to the edge of your jeans where you quietly order me to open them.
You're already hard. There's no hesitation. My hand moves to touch you, but you softly utter another order, "No. Hands behind your back".  I comply.
Your hard cock is millimeters from my face. You hold my face entirely still. My mouth is watering and I'm dripping wet just looking at it. "Beg for it"

"Please, can I taste it."

"You'll have to do better than that." 

"please, I'd very much like to take your cock in my mouth."

"I'm not sure you really want it."

"I want you in my mouth, I want to taste you, I need it. I need you to fill my mouth."

"You need it, do you?"

 Your firm hand, fingers laced cautiously through my hair, moves my head forward only to pull it back again, leaving me moaning in disappointment. 

"You need it, do you?" You ask again.

"Fuck yeah." 

Your hand pushes me closer. My face grazes you. Your cock brushes my cheek, and you move my face to the other side, the other cheek. I open my mouth, my eyes looking up to meet yours. You slide in, forcing my head down all the way. There's no game here, it's pure pleasure for you, my air supply gets cut off, I gag, and you pull my head back off quickly. Holding me at a distance again.


"You said you wanted it, you needed it."

"I do, I do need it, I do want it."

"This is that what you want, is it?"

"Yes, I want more. I want you to make me gag."

This time with both hands, the other on my cheek. My mouth is yearning, inviting, waiting. And again you force me on to you. I try to hold my breath, try to resist the temptation to gag. You move in and out. I can feel you on the back of my throat. You swell, and I moan. Your hands move my head faster and you push further in. I gag again, I can't help it, saliva is dripping down my chin, and you pull me back. I gulp for air, breathless and hungry. 

"I want you to cum for me."

The little things

We are told to appreciate the little things in life. There are a few things that I just adore.

-Little Xs on messages
-Little emails to say good morning and goodnight
-Long emails to discuss life's problems
-Comments on blog posts
-A kiss on the cheek in the morning while I'm still sleeping
-Pancakes

What kind of player are you?

There's the watcher, the participant, or the one who wants to be watched.

Happy belated HNT.

What do people google?

"Stripper nipple cream whipped"

What would push someone to search for such a thing?? And how did my blog come up on that one?!? 


Hah.. sorry, I just had to post that.


P.S. I will hopefully have an HNT up at some point this week.... hopefully.

MILF, GM, DIY, FYI, LOL, ROTFL

When does a woman become a MILF? Now, the answer should be obvious here right? Like, when they have kids. But to me it's not. I actually had a discussion about this with my lunch friends. They are mostly men, one is gay, but today I had lunch with all four of them. I was the only woman present and bf wasn't there to scare off any sexually related comments. I don't mind. I like talking about this stuff!

The question was "what's a MILF?" Ok, remember I live in Italy, they're Italians. So I explained it to them: "Mother I'd Like to Fuck". But to them it's completely different. There's an age group that they allot to MILFs. Anyone between 35 and 55 (if I'm remembering correctly). Then there's GM, that would be Grandmother, of course, from 55 up.

What I'm not sure of here, is whether this is a distortion that the Italians have on the slang language or whether this distortion is widely used.

These abbreviations get widely used in chat use, and perhaps they get overused by some (myself included), but I find that the meanings do change, have changed and are changing. They loose their original significance at some point. There are times where I find myself writing "LOL" and then actually having to specify that something made me laugh out loud. I shouldn't need to do that. LOL means exactly that. But it is used almost as a smiley face, or to let people know something is funny rather than to say that you're actually laughing out loud. Is the same thing happening with MILF?

"This is the year"

That's what he said.

It was an eventful meeting on line. It was full of words and actions. It left my heart beating fast.

There are times when I'm in a thoughtful mood and I start asking personal questions. This time it was about arguments with GF. Thoughts while they argue what does he think, what goes through his head.

Then we were talking about something someone pointed out to me regarding jealousy. I'd never thought about it. I'm not jealous of his gf only of other online girls because they intrude on my territory. He was the first one to notice that he wasn't jealous of bf, just other guys I "play" with on line.

Then he came out and started telling me how I was tempting him, being devilish. How he'd opened Pandora's box. He needs "closure, well not closure" as he put it. He needs to "find out if it's as good as promised". This makes me a bit anxious because I know we've both created high expectations of the situation. If it ever happens, we'll probably end up fumbling through most of it.

He's "heard and seen so much, but never got the prize". But he will "this is the year".

He asked me when. We talked about how, where, and what would happen.

So much went on in the conversation that just makes me hot...

He knows I need restraint. He knows what I need, some of it scares me a bit. Being helpless and out of control is something I'm not used to. It's something I need to try. I need to understand how it feels.

We talked about taking lots of pictures. A slow progression of undressing, sliding fingers in... all of them, to a progression of fucking.

By the time we were done talking about the so called details, we were horny.

He decided he'd let me watch today. He set up the camera in a very unique position. It allowed me to see his cock, and his computer screen with my face. He pulled up a folder of images I've sent him over the years and put it on slide-show. As I watched the images change his movements got faster, and he came all over his keyboard.

A picture of me in a silver bikini was the culprit... he says it's his favourite.

The Pipe

She was walking down the street I take occasionally to get home. Tall, beautiful, blond with a bob haircut. She was dressed like a model, not a supermodel, just a model. Beige pants, an open darker beige trench, with a shawl like grey sweater. Perfect subtle make-up, and a perfect walk on heels and a cobblestone street. There were two things that stood out about this girl. One was the garish white plastic ipod carrier bag hanging around her neck, headphones in her ears. The other was the Sherlock Holmes pipe she was smoking. Pipe in hand, cradling it like a fragile baby bird, holding it delicately between her lips and puffing away.

It was contrastingly beautiful and unattractive at the same time.
What makes a woman start smoking a pipe?
Is it to stand out or is it genuine eccentricity?

Distractions

I have decided that distractions are quite necessary for the normal functioning of a person's life. Whether it's reading, music or the beautiful boy/girl who works in the same building as you.

We all need one and sometimes music and reading just don't cut it. Sometimes we need something a bit stronger. I could compare it to being tired and needing either a cup of tea or a real Italian espresso. Sometimes tea is enough, sometimes it isn't.

There has been some crazy stuff going on around my life recently. Stuff that I'd rather not have anything to do with. I seem to be coping well, when in reality I think that it's really probably bothering more than I'd like to admit. I try to be objective and keep my distance, but it doesn't really work that way all the time.

This brings me to wonder what's going on when distractions start to become a constant, even when there's no drama. Does that mean that I'm not capable of dealing with where I am in life? I think the answer is possibly yes. And once I've answered yes, what should I do about it?

Answering yes could also mean that I'm searching for the renowned greener grass on the other side. But we all know it's probably just a matter of point of view. Does that mean I should ignore it?

We all know I'm over analyzing. So I'll stop here. I should probably just go on with what I'm doing, without looking back and deal with whatever comes as it comes.

Way too young.

I have a new job, I'm working in a Jr. High school. That means that the students are aged 10 to 14 more or less (apart from those who failed a year). I only work with the students aged 12 to 14.

Having said that, I have a student, just one, who stares at me as if I were a sex toy. He's about 14.

Now, let me get this straight. I know the look boys get when they are curious, and I know the look they get in their eyes when they see a pretty woman. They're usually giddy and shy. But this, this is different. This is the look of someone who has some kind of knowledge. It's intense. It burrows. It heats. It makes you blush.

I had seen it from boys in high school, and even then I found it too mature for the age. But at Jr. High?? C'mon!

Where do they learn this stuff so young?

Ok, so I have to ignore the fact that when I was 13 I had a relatively sexual experience (told here in sex from the past part III) with a guy who was older than me... but he certainly wasn't 30!

Anyone out there with some insight to this? I'm curious.