I sometimes wonder if what I have is what is best for me. I wonder that relatively often. Is that an indicator that things aren't going well?
I often wonder if "soul mates" exist.
This time my wondering has been brought on by little things that get on my nerves. The lack of appreciation that I find myself confronted with sometimes, just gets to me. There's no appreciation for anything. Even simple things like food. They get scarfed down without the smallest pause to understand what it is he's eating. Or even the appreciation of a gift, that it took time and thought to get it. There really is nothing that he stops to appreciate.
The best example was used once in "Dawson's Creek". I'll never forget it. It was about ice-cream in summer. It's melting, you're really hungry, and hot. What do you do? Scarf it all down or lick it slowly to appreciate the flavours and to tease yourself?
You really want to just push the whole thing down your throat, but it's much more seductive to lick it slowly and appreciate that you even have the ice-cream. A woman is the same, she needs to be savoured.
There's also the missing knowledge of how to seduce that gets to me. I am really missing that passion. Sure there's sex, and it's good sex, it's passionate once it has been started. But getting started is such a sad event. I doubt it should be like that. I doubt I should be turned off by the initiation.