Monday, April 5, 2010


I sometimes wonder if what I have is what is best for me. I wonder that relatively often. Is that an indicator that things aren't going well?

I often wonder if "soul mates" exist.

This time my wondering has been brought on by little things that get on my nerves. The lack of appreciation that I find myself confronted with sometimes, just gets to me. There's no appreciation for anything. Even simple things like food. They get scarfed down without the smallest pause to understand what it is he's eating. Or even the appreciation of a gift, that it took time and thought to get it. There really is nothing that he stops to appreciate.

The best example was used once in "Dawson's Creek". I'll never forget it. It was about ice-cream in summer. It's melting, you're really hungry, and hot. What do you do? Scarf it all down or lick it slowly to appreciate the flavours and to tease yourself?
You really want to just push the whole thing down your throat, but it's much more seductive to lick it slowly and appreciate that you even have the ice-cream. A woman is the same, she needs to be savoured.

There's also the missing knowledge of how to seduce that gets to me. I am really missing that passion. Sure there's sex, and it's good sex, it's passionate once it has been started. But getting started is such a sad event. I doubt it should be like that. I doubt I should be turned off by the initiation.


Anonymous said...

Surely it isn't supposed to be that way though it seems it usually ends up that way after a while.

Cande said...

How depressing. :(

Diner Nighthawk said...

Sure there's sex, and it's good sex, it's passionate once it has been started. But getting started is such a sad event.

I totally feel for you here. I was just thinking about this very thing this morning, in fact. IN my relationship, spontaneous and passionate rarely works. Romantic and slow rarely work (I'll plan out entire evenings, only to watch her crash when we get home). Too many nights just seem to start with "Hey, you feel up to it?"

I never believed in soul mates, but when we met she changed my mind. Now, more than five years later, there's that chasm again. I wonder if soul mates are a little like dream jobs: even if you find it and snag it, parts of it will always be work.

Diner Nighthawk said...

Sorry, forgot to introduce myself: found you on Leonheart's blog. Hope you don't mind another follower :)

Cande said...

Hi Diner Nighthawk. I saw your comments on Leonharts, blog. Thanks for stopping by :)

You could very well be right. Maybe what I'm looking for and expecting is the idealistic relationship that doesn't exist. Maybe I should be happy with what I have. Sometimes it's just so hard to convince myself that this is the end of the line.

Leonhart said...

Well, you ain't getting much sympathy from me!

I know this feeling all too well. . . only you get the sex, good sex. I get the no sex, no good sex.

To be fair, though, I can't complain about the attention and fuss and care given to me outside of the bedroom. And that part of a relationship, the 90%+ part, is clearly vital, and for this, OK, you illicit my sympathy.

A Good Mom said...

I totally get this- I wish sex could just be anonymous- no strings attached. I used to think soul mates existed, but not anymore.