Sunday, April 18, 2010

Avoid me why don't you?

I've been thinking about Rob a lot. I miss him terribly.

It has been a long while. He's probably regretting asking me to come over there. He's avoiding me.

I even sent him an email to see if he'd answer, he rarely looks at his emails. But he hasn't answered... who knows.

Today bf asked me if I wanted to know the prices of flights to London for June. HE asked me. I was awestruck. I'm not sure if he was including himself in the trip or not. But he was serious.

I'm not sure at this point if Rob still wants me to come. I'll just have to play it by ear.

I haven't had any sex in AGES. I'm not even sure how long it has been. I should try to figure it out. It must be a month. When was the last time I posted about it? Oh right on the 29th of March, so no, not a month, but long enough.

I've been busy and bf is ALWAYS home now. So I have NO time to myself. I need my space. I need my "alone" time. I don't know how long I'll be able to deal with this.

I had a discussion about banks and money and mortgages with bf. It was of course all brought on by my blogging and all of the questions my blog friends have been asking me.

He is quite obviously opposed to looking into it. Although he might soften up. He says that with the interest rates, we'd be paying would double the price of the house. Especially if we can't pay a down payment. He's right of course, I did say that he was street smart.

After that last post. I have been seriously contemplating talking to bf about my thoughts. Telling him that perhaps it's time for a break. It's not easy we're sharing a rented apartment. We've got a parrot, we have A LOT of friends we'd have to deal with. But perhaps it is for the best. I'll be thinking about it. I'm sure he'd convince me that it's not the best thing. That we need to stay together. I'm a bit afraid of telling him how I feel, I don't want to hurt him.

It's also strange this language thing. Things seem less real when you're saying things in a language that isn't the one you grew up with...

Thoughts, thoughts....


Gray said...

Try to figure out what makes you happy.. and run with it.

ebony panther said...

I'm with Gray on that one. Sorry to see things aren't going the way you want them to right now.

Anonymous said...

I so feel like I am late to the game or missing something. BF is home all the time and you haven't had sex in 3 weeks? You need alone time to have sex? I'm lost. Why doesn't he hit it every day would be my question??

Rob wants you to come, I am sure of it. Or he is an idiot.

Leonhart said...

Rob: Either you don't register on his radar anywhere near as you'd like to (or he does for you), or something unforeseen has happened keeping him low-key, or he's avoiding you - for reasons only to be guessed at.

Parrot: Not a reason to stay in a relationship. :o)

Talking about the state of things with you and bf: Absolutely. Maybe you don't have to broach it as 'end of things' talk - but maybe discuss your frustrations and lack of enthusiasm and see what he has to say, see how the conversation evolves.

Diner Nighthawk said...

I'm with Leonheart on this one. He might take an end-of-days talk as something of an ultimatum, and resent you for it. But just an open discussion about your frustrations might be in order. He might be opening to listen and he may not, but at least YOU have the peace of mind of knowing you tried the civil approach first.

Cande said...

Gray & ebony: I really should concentrate on what I want... now if I could only figure out what it is... ;) thanks

Sage: You ask many good questions. I have no idea tho. I'm not always sure about Rob... But you're probably right.

LH: Yeah, it's hard to tell... I can never tell what's going on with Rob.
Parrot: you're right...
I will talk to BF about the situation very soon... promise.

DN: You're right. I will talk to him. Hope that something comes of it. We've had the conversation so many times. But it never changes much. But it is good to have the conversation again. Agreed, I'll do it.