Thursday, April 28, 2011

the bf apartment conclusion.

I must apologize that I haven't updated since my last post things have been a little hectic as you may all have guessed.

I did not break it off with bf. But I did tell him that I wanted to move out. We sat down on Tuesday evening, we turned the TV off and we talked. I told him very simply that I thought I wanted to move out, while keeping it clear that I didn't want him to think that I wanted to break up with him. (This may have been a mistake, but I'm not sure.)

He said ok, but that we had to do it the right way, leave the apartment when our contract runs out, and get two apartments. He was all very logical about it and said that he had been expecting it for a while.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I honestly had to force myself not to smile at one point, but on the other hand I was crushed that he didn't try to stop me.

The conversation didn't stop there though. We talked about all sorts of things, and it's so hard to explain, because so many past things came up that I'm not going into here. But the gist of it was that he thought that if I moved out it meant that we were finished. I think at times like these he'd like to get out as badly as I would. I think he sees me flying really low and doesn't want me to get hurt and he thinks he is the cause of my angst.

So the end of the tale is that we are still opting for a studio space instead. And I do think that will help. I need a place I can go to get away from him... he's home way to often for me to be able to handle it.

So we're back into looking for a studio.

I just hope I can find something soon...


Johanna said...

I've been worried about you! Very glad to hear now that you have a hands-on plan to improve the situation and that you and bf seem to have had a good talk.

I was looking into the studio solution once myself, just after my bf (now husband) moved in with me, but then he got a job, and we got a bigger flat, and... I have very fond memories though of riding my bike through industrial parks and climbing copious amounts of stairs to creepy attics to look at potential work spaces. I have to admit it's still a tempting idea, always in the back of my head somewhere.

So good luck with finding a studio.. and I hope it comes with an internet connection ;-).

John said...

Was just about to fire up the email to say hello and to say I was thinking about you and wondering what was happening, hope this is as positive as it sounds for you!

James said...

Glad to hear that things went well. Good luck with the apartment hunting.

Advizor54 said...

I love the idea of you having your own creative space. It's very liberating to be able to walk in to a room, have your tools all laid out and ready to go. The door shuts, the windows open, the music starts, and art flows. That kind of release makes all sorts of other stresses easier to handle.

Good luck!

GoodWill said...

Good luck to you Cande, glad to hear that things are out in the open more and that you 2 are able to deal with it as adults.