I must apologize that I haven't updated since my last post things have been a little hectic as you may all have guessed.
I did not break it off with bf. But I did tell him that I wanted to move out. We sat down on Tuesday evening, we turned the TV off and we talked. I told him very simply that I thought I wanted to move out, while keeping it clear that I didn't want him to think that I wanted to break up with him. (This may have been a mistake, but I'm not sure.)
He said ok, but that we had to do it the right way, leave the apartment when our contract runs out, and get two apartments. He was all very logical about it and said that he had been expecting it for a while.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I honestly had to force myself not to smile at one point, but on the other hand I was crushed that he didn't try to stop me.
The conversation didn't stop there though. We talked about all sorts of things, and it's so hard to explain, because so many past things came up that I'm not going into here. But the gist of it was that he thought that if I moved out it meant that we were finished. I think at times like these he'd like to get out as badly as I would. I think he sees me flying really low and doesn't want me to get hurt and he thinks he is the cause of my angst.
So the end of the tale is that we are still opting for a studio space instead. And I do think that will help. I need a place I can go to get away from him... he's home way to often for me to be able to handle it.
So we're back into looking for a studio.
I just hope I can find something soon...