Saturday, August 1, 2009

Where's the point of no return?

Maybe it's because my sister just left. Maybe it's because men can be so complicated sometimes. But I'm a complete mess. I hate arguing with A. A and I always argue hard when my sis is around. I'm not sure why, maybe jealousy. It's always emotionally charged beyond anything normal. Things get so contorted and twisted, just fucked up to the point that I can't figure anything out. It gets dingy and mucky and I try hard not to say things I might regret, but he doesn't. He says awful things that honestly hurt a lot. It's always the same argument too. We can't work it out, even after 11 years together. Today he told me that I must be really unhappy in the relationship.
Am I? I didn't think I was.

This is one of those rants that I should probably avoid on here. But then again I did start this to get stuff off my chest so I guess it comes with the territory.


Gray said...

Don't apologize for venting. This is YOUR blog and you should feel free to use it anyway you want.

Family has a way of bringing out the bad in us. I think this sounds more like his issue then the two of you.

Drop me a note if you need to talk/vent!

Anonymous said...

Personal blogs are for venting.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time with your relationship.

Sending peace and love your way...

Cande said...

AWw thanks girls. I'm glad I have a place where I can do that. I'm sure we'll talk through it tonight. I just hope we don't go through the (now less common) cold shoulder phase.

Anonymous said...

I rant all the time in my own way. It is a very healthy thing to express what is going on with you. People read what you write because of that.

Cande said...

thanks DB I hope that's true.

Anonymous said...

what I find most interesting in reading your blog is your honesty and openess. You expose yourself. That is very much more than easy sex talk.

rant away. things hurt sometimes


Cande said...

Thanks Rick. I tend to think that people prefer honesty to falsely concocted desires. But apart from what other people think, this blog is for myself more than anything so I want it to mirror what is going on in my life. I can't keep a hand written journal so this has to be it.